From Parental Concern to Personal Challenge
Perhaps eight years ago, I was concerned about the impulsiveness that one of my young children demonstrated. My (pre-diagnosed) anxious mind fast-forwarded a couple decades and imagined all the catastrophic things that would happen in that child’s life if they didn’t learn self-control. Then it hit me: for most of my adult life I’d been 20-30 pounds heavier than I would prefer. The reason for the extra weight was that I didn’t demonstrate self-regulation. I ate what I wanted when I wanted, without thinking about nutrition. I didn’t regularly exercise. Then the goal hit me: I wanted to run a 10K consecutively with no stops. I did not realize at the time that this goal would become the kickoff of my running for mental health.
The Journey from Couch to 10K
Why a 10K and not a 5K? I’d run a few 5Ks already, but I had never trained for one. My wife would occasionally train for a 5K and invite me to run with her. I’d accept the invitation, show up on race day with no prep, run until I was exhausted, walk, and repeat that cycle until I crossed the finish line. Then my whole body would be sore for a week, and I wouldn’t run again until one or two years later when my wife invited me to join her for another 5K.
The prospect of training for a 5K didn’t motivate me. Running 10K consecutively without stopping seemed impossible without serious preparation. To tackle this challenge, a search of the App Store led me to download a highly-rated Couch to 10K app. With the app in hand, booking a race 14 weeks out became the next logical step. (Note: Couch to 5K apps are available for those preferring a shorter distance.)
The app started me with a simple routine: run for one minute, then walk for one minute. I felt self-conscious about running for such short distances before resting, but I had to admit that it felt appropriate for my (lack of) fitness. As the weeks progressed, I began to notice changes. When I made it to 20 minutes of continuous running, it felt like a huge accomplishment. Then 30 minutes, then 40, and eventually running for 60 minutes straight felt incredibly empowering. Each milestone boosted my confidence and showed me that I was capable of more than I had imagined.
Race day arrived, and I crossed the finish line of my first 10K, running the entire distance without stopping. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride. I had proven to myself that I could set a goal, commit to it, and achieve something I once thought impossible.
Pushing the Boundaries: Half Marathon
After completing a second 10K race a year later, a friend casually remarked, “I guess a half marathon is next, right?” The idea both excited and intimidated me. I found a new app, Runkeeper, which offered a plan to ramp up from 10K to half-marathon distances. In my enthusiasm, I pushed myself too hard, running ahead of schedule and ending up with some mild injuries. It was then that my friend, an Ironman competitor, introduced me to the 10% rule – a guideline suggesting not to increase weekly mileage by more than 10%. When I followed his advice, it proved invaluable in preventing future injuries and ensuring sustainable progress. (And when I didn’t follow the advice, I got injured).
The 13 Half Marathons Challenge
After successfully completing my first half-marathon, I was riding high on endorphins and a sense of achievement. I asked my Ironman friend, “Marathon next, I guess?” His response was thoughtful: “It depends. Why do you run?” I reflected for a moment and replied, “I run because it reminds me that I can persist toward anything I choose, even during moments that aren’t fun or easy.” He nodded and said, “OK, then you should know that some people who run a marathon get injured and never run again. In typical marathon training, the longest run is usually capped at around 18-20 miles because beyond this distance, the increased risk of injury often outweighs the additional training benefits.”
This conversation led me to set a new goal to run 13 half marathons (13.1 miles * 13). It seemed like a poetic target that would challenge me without risking the burnout or injury that might come with full marathon training.
Initially, I ambitiously hoped to complete all 13 half marathons in one year. Reality, however, had other plans. I “only” managed to complete 9 the first year. At first, I felt disappointed, but I soon realized that this journey wasn’t just about hitting a number – it was about consistent effort, learning to listen to my body, and enjoying the process. It took more time than I initially expected to hit my goal of 13, but each race taught me something valuable about perseverance and self-compassion.
Going Global: Virtual Runs and Family Connections
As my running journey progressed, I discovered I wasn’t alone in my pursuit. From half marathons 11 through 16, my solo runs transformed into a global family affair. Thanks to modern-day technology, I found myself pounding the pavement with cousins scattered across the world. Despite the vast distances between us, technology allowed us to share our progress, cheer each other on, and feel connected through our shared challenge. This virtual camaraderie added a new dimension to my running experience, proving that personal growth and family bonds could strengthen simultaneously, even from opposite sides of the globe. Our shared commitment not only motivated me to keep going but also reinforced the idea that mental health and physical wellness can be a collective journey, transcending geographical boundaries.
Fueling the Journey: Nutrition and Hydration Lessons
Running longer distances introduced a whole new challenge: fueling and hydration. This was an aspect of running I had never considered for shorter distances, but it became crucial for half-marathons. I experimented to find what worked best for me. Initially, I tried carrying water in bottles on a hydration belt. That was fine initially, but as I approached 13.1 miles I would run out of water. I added a handheld water bottle, but that messed with my arm swing. Ultimately, I settled on a lightweight hydration backpack, which carried up to 2L and distributed the weight evenly.
Fueling during runs was another learning curve. I tried various options: energy gels, which provided quick carbs but questionable texture; stroopwafels, which had good taste and texture but sometimes felt too dry or involved more chewing than I preferred; and gummies, which became my favorite. (And no, not that kind of gummies!) For a half-marathon, I bring a mixture of all three and decide in the moment what sounds most palatable and appropriate for my tummy. This process of trial and error taught me a lot about listening to my body and the importance of proper nutrition in endurance sports. It was yet another reminder that improvement comes through experimentation and persistence, a lesson that applies beyond running and managing mental health.
Discovering the Power of Running for Mental Health
Several years ago, I faced a particularly difficult 15-month period marked by frequent episodes of depression and anxiety, including a panic attack that left me wondering if I’d ever feel normal again. During this time, running became more than just a hobby – it was a lifeline.
I remember a specific half-marathon (#10), which marked the end of this challenging period. As I completed those 13.1 miles, taking 25,399 small steps, I felt like I was telling the fiery demon of depression that had been chasing me, “You shall not pass!” It was more than just a race; it was the finish line of a 15-month endurance test.
Throughout those months, I sought help in various forms. To address my challenges, conversations with family, friends, and colleagues became a crucial first step. A consultation with a psychologist revealed that running could be as effective as medication in treating mood disorders. Breathing exercises, coupled with challenging and reframing negative thoughts into more productive ones, became part of my daily routine. Extensive reading and writing about thriving complemented these efforts, and when symptoms became overwhelming, taking a leave of absence from work provided necessary space for recovery.
Using Running as a Coping Strategy
Running became both a metaphor and a method for dealing with my mental health challenges. I began to view my struggles with depression and anxiety as races themselves. Some days I’d run a Hope 5K, during which I’d spend 30 minutes considering all the things I might look forward to in the future. Other days were an Inspiration 10 Miler, where I’d listen to motivational audiobooks while running. And yes, there were days when I found myself involuntarily signed up for a Depression or Anxiety “event,” but I learned that I could endure these too, just as I endured long runs.
The beauty of this approach is that most mood fluctuations, like most races, can be measured in hours. A 5K might take 30 minutes, a half-marathon about 2 hours, and even a full marathon typically lasts between 3 to 7 hours for most runners. Similarly, I found that most of my down moods could be measured in hours, not days. And since I had conditioned myself to voluntarily endure for hours at a time through running, I was well-prepared to face difficult moods.
Reclaiming April 24th: A Personal Victory
One of the most significant milestones in my journey came on April 24, 2021. For decades, I had feared this date after my sister was murdered on that day. A few months before, I made a decision to take ownership of the date and infuse it with positive meaning. I chose to run my 13th half-marathon on April 24th, achieving a goal I had set over three years earlier to run 13.1 miles on 13 occasions. This act of reclaiming the date was incredibly empowering. I don’t fear April 24th anymore.
Lessons Learned: The Impact of Running on Life
Eight years and 16 half marathons after starting my running for mental health journey, I look back on pivotal moments with gratitude. Running has been a powerful tool in managing my anxiety and depression. It’s taught me the value of consistency, the power of small, incremental progress, and the importance of believing in myself.
As for my child who sparked this journey? They’ve grown into a thoughtful, self-regulated teenager. While I can’t attribute all of that to my running journey, I believe that modeling dedication, goal-setting, and self-improvement has had a positive impact on our entire family.
Encouraging Others: Your Own Journey Awaits
To anyone struggling with anxiety, depression, or another mood disorder, I encourage you to consider running for mental health as a potential tool in your mental health toolkit. It doesn’t have to be running – find an activity that resonates with you. Start small, be patient with yourself, and remember that progress isn’t always linear. The journey from the couch to the finish line isn’t always easy, but the rewards – both physical and mental – are immeasurable.
Remember, every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. You can improve at anything you choose to practice. And who knows? You might just surprise yourself with how far you can go. Keep running the mile you’re in, continuing to move one foot in front of the other up the trail of life. You can learn from any experience. The future can be better, and you have the power to make it so.
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